A Brother’s Regret

A short story about how Caden met his Warlock Patron.

Trigger Warnings: Suicide and Bullying

Caden put on his left shoe again and tied it. He was already running late for work before he noticed the sole of his shoe tearing away. It only took him a couple minutes to fix, but those were minutes he couldn’t afford.

He stood up from his bed and patted down his clothes, taking one last look at himself in his bedroom mirror to make sure everything was ok.

He started to leave his room, but his sister stopped him at the door.

“Hey Cade, can we talk?” Lyra asked, looking at the floor, her black hair covering her eyes.

“I’d love to sis, but I’m really running late, and Mr. Walsh will kill me if I slow him down again.”

“Oh, alright.” Lyra rubbed her wrist, she still hadn’t looked up, but Cade could see her frown.

“Oh come on, Lyra, don’t be like that, smile a bit.” Cade poked his twin’s side and started tickling her. Lyra started laughing. Her tickle spots hadn’t changed since their tickle wars as kids.

Cade stopped and stepped around her. “I’ll be back in a couple hours, we can talk then ok.”

“Ok.” Lyra said, she was still giggling a bit, but was calming down. “I also made you lunch.”

Lyra pointed to a bag on the kitchen counter. Cade grabbed it and smiled at her.

“Thanks Lyra. You didn’t have to though.”

Lyra shrugged and pushed her hair behind her slightly pointed ear. “Hurry up. Mr. Walsh is already going to rip you a new one.”

Cade widened his eyes. “Shit, you’re right.” He kissed the top of his sister’s head. “Love you Lyr.”

“Love you too.” She said, her blue eyes fixed on Cade as he left the house.

Cade ran from one end of the kitchen to the other, chopping vegetables and doing any other little thing he could to speed up Mr. Walsh’s cooking. He was extremely lucky Mr. Walsh offered him this job as a cooking aide. While there were places that would hire a fifteen year old, not many of them would accept ‘that half elf’. One of the downsides of living in a small human village. But there was nothing he could do about that. Luckily Mr. Walsh didn’t care, his customers on the other hand did. To continue working there all Cade had to do was try to stay unseen as much as possible. If someone saw him from time to time it was fine, Walsh could talk his way out of it. But people could spread rumors if they learned Cade helped prepare most of the food.

Cade had just finished up chopping an onion when Mr. Walsh came into the kitchen.

“Hey kid, we slowed down a bit, go ahead and take a break.”

“Thank you Mr. Walsh.” Cade said, pushing the chopped onions aside and putting down the knife.

Cade walked to the table in the corner where he took his breaks. He let out a deep breath as he sat down. Not a second later his stomach started rumbling. He grabbed his lunch and took the container out of the bag. On top of it was a letter. On it, it read ‘To my dearest brother’. Cade smiled at his sister’s handwriting. He set aside his lunch and opened the letter and read it.

Dear Caden,

First of all I want you to know that I love you. You and mother are what I cherish the most in all the world, at least the moments when mother isn’t distant. But even with all the love we share, it is not enough. I’m tired. I’m exhausted. Everyday I live is pain. We don’t belong in this town, and I’m starting to believe there is no place for us in this world, no place for me. You got lucky with Mr. Walsh’s inn, and the bullies at school have even started ignoring you a little. But for me, their insults have only escalated, and I can’t do anything about them. If I talk back to them, they redouble their forces. If I retaliate, I’m in the wrong. But everything they say is true. I am worthless, I’m only a burden. Even father knew I wasn’t worth the effort and that’s why he left us. Mother sees it every time she looks at me and it drives her to drink. And you, we haven’t spent as much time together, I can only assume it’s because you’re also starting to realize how worthless I am. I tired to make it all better, but there is no solution. But one. I love you brother, and thank you for all the memories we’ve shared. But this life is only torment, and it won’t get any better. My last memory is going to be of the only happy place I had in this world, and let my last thoughts be of all the memories we had there. Goodbye Caden.

Love, Lyra

Cade stared at the end of the letter. He only broke out of the trance when a tear fell on the paper. He noticed his hands trembling. Cade thought this had to be a joke. A very sick, distasteful joke. It was payback for Cade not talking to her before work. Cade shot up out of his chair. Lyra wanted to talk today. Maybe this is what she wanted to talk about. Maybe he could’ve, helped her. Cade felt more tears fall down his face and guilt build up inside him.

“Caden what’s wrong?” Mr. Walsh asked. Caden hadn’t noticed him approach.

“I’m sorry Mr. Walsh, I have to go.” As soon as the last word left his mouth Cade took off out of the inn, not waiting for his boss’s reply.

He ran through the streets, hoping he wasn’t too late. There was no way any of this was serious. No way Lyra would actually, would actually…

His mind brought back the image of her face that morning, how she couldn’t even look him in the eyes. Cade ran faster, he had to get to her before she went though with it. Cade was too in his mind that he didn’t see the group of people in front of him until he’d ran into them and lost his balance.

“Watch where you’re going knife ears.” Cade heard an familiar guy’s voice say. “You’d think with ears that big he’d have echolocation.”

There was laughter all around him, and he knew he ran into the last group of people he wanted to run into.

“Fuck off Luther.” Cade said, getting off the ground and facing the group of bullies. Cade tried to get through, but Luther and one of his goons blocked his path.

“You’re not going anywhere mutt. Not until you apologize.”

Cade glared at him. “I don’t have time for this.” Cade knew it wouldn’t stop at an apology, Luther would keep making up things he’d have to do before he let him go. It’ been that way since grade school.

“Do it or else we’ll make Otto set up another date with your sister and leave her hanging.” The group laughed at that threat, as if remembering a good joke.

Cade stared blankly at them. “You did what?” He snarled.

“You should’ve seen the look on her face.” Jolene, another of Luther’s posse, said. “She was so depressed after waiting a whole hour for Otto to show up. As if he’d ever date an ugly bitch like her. Just for good measure we dumped buckets of mud on her.”

Anger rose up inside Cade’s chest, but it was also joined by guilt. Lyra had the biggest crush on Otto, and if something like that had happened, and he hadn’t heard of it. Lyra must’ve been holding it in, and Cade grew even more worried.

Cade shoved Luther and his lackey out of his way and ran towards the forest. He ignored Luther calling him a “Stinking half elf.” behind him and kept running.

Lyra had written that she was going to end it in the only happy place she had, a place they shared many memories in, and there was only one place that matched that description. Their secret base in the woods. Cade turned left at the Twisted Tree of Mystery, and then a right at the Mighty Fallen Tree Warrior.

“Lyra!” He called out

Cade thought back to when they first found the spot, how happy they were to have a place away from everyone that would call them names, and how they came up with the names for the places they had to pass to reach it.

“Lyra! He tried again.

He remembered all the games they would play, and even all the little animals they befriended. There had to be no way Lyra really wanted to kill herself there, this was all just a sick ploy to get him there.

“Lyr-” Something snagged Cade’s foot and he was sent tumbling down a small hill.

Cade scolded himself for forgetting that tree branch. Lyra and him would say that was an intruder trap. Cade found it ironic he’d fall for it. Cade got up and ran the last stretch to the base. When he saw the giant tree, he knew he was there.

“Lyra!” He called, looking around to see if he saw her.

He couldn’t find any trace of her, only the toys they’d left there from their childhood and never put away. Cade checked inside the little house that was against the tree. They’d always found it weird how it was just sitting there in the middle of the woods. They even thought it was haunted for a while. But eventually they used it almost everyday.

The house was empty, just like Cade’s hopes that his sister was ok. He turned around in a circle, wondering where she could’ve gone.

That’s when he heard a hoot.

Cade stopped and locked eyes with the owl perched on one of the tree roots. The area was always inhabited by a bunch of owls, but Cade had never seen one perched so low when he was there.

The Owl hooted again before flying off around the tree. Cade sensed a sort of intelligence in the bird and decided to follow it. But he soon wished he hadn’t.

Around the tree, a couple feet away from it, hanging from a branch, was Lyra’s body.

Cade stopped in his tracks, all the feeling in his body left him. All he was left with was sadness, and guilt.

Cade’s legs trembled, but he took another step forward, and another. Somehow he made it a few steps away from Lyra before collapsing. Tears streamed down his face. He wasn’t sure if they’d just started, or if they’d been going for a while and only now he was feeling things again. Cade saw a glint on the ground below Lyra and walked to it. He picked it up, and the tears intensified. It was Lyra’s ring, the one she saved up to buy. It wasn’t super pretty, nor was it expensive, but Lyra loved it because she earned the money working with their mom. Lyra held on to the ring as a dear memory.

Cade held the ring close to his chest and let out a painful yell, and sobbed.

Cade heard the sound of wings flapping away in fear, and wings flying close. He heard a hoot, but ignored it.

He was such an idiot, how could he not see how much his sister was hurting. How could he not see that she wanted his help. If only he’d been a better brother. If only he’d stayed and listened to what she had to say that morning.

“Oh sweet child, how dour this is.” A voice sounded around Cade, but he didn’t look up, he didn’t care.

“Don’t blame yourself child, you were no more at fault than she was.” The voice continued. It sounded almost motherly in nature, like how his mother sounded on her good days.

Cade heard more hooting, and more wings flapping around him. But he didn’t care. His sister was dead, she’d killed herself and it was all his fault.

There were even more hooting and Cade couldn’t help but think of how they reminded him of the bullies laughing at Lyra’s situation. That’s when Cade realized they were just at fault as he was. Lyra wouldn’t be gone if they hadn’t bullied her into it.

“I’ll make them pay.” Cade said to himself.

“Revenge is never a good path to take, child. Your sister would not want that for you.”

Cade opened his eyes. He stared at the grass underneath him, at the crumbled leaves on the ground. There was something odd in their color, they were more vibrant than they should be.

“But they have to pay for what they did.” He told the voice. “I have to stop them before they do this again. This shouldn’t happen to anyone, and I won’t let it happen ever again.”

“You are not strong enough child.” The motherly voice said.

“But I have to be.” Cade looked up and his mouth opened.

The area he was in seemed to have shrunk, and tree branches grew where they hadn’t been before, encircling him. But on those tree branches were owls, dozens of them, probably even hundreds. Lyra still hung above him. And while he still felt guilt, he also felt conviction.

“Very well.” The voice said. Cade couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. “I can help make you stronger, but only if you agree to help me when I ask for it.”

Cade was worried. He knew better than to make deals with strange voices in the woods, but he also knew the voice was right, he wasn’t strong enough to face the bullies. He’d go back to face them and they’d beat him up like they’ve done so many times before. Besides, there was something behind the voice that made it seem like Cade could trust it, as if the voice truly cared for him.

“Why do you care so much?” Cade asked.

“Because I feel your pain, child.” The voice said. “I’ve watched the two of you play and grow in these woods. It feels like I’ve lost someone as well.”

Caden remembered all the owls he’s seen in the woods over the years. It was always just Caden and Lyra that came into the woods, but Cade realized they weren’t ever truly alone.

“Ok.” Cade said. “I accept.”

The roots and branches in front of him parted way for a hand to reach out. It wasn’t quite a hand, it was more like a talon, and the arm was covered with feathers. Cade hesitated but a moment before grasping the talon and shaking it.

The roots and branches opened up even more and the hand’s owner stepped forward. The figure was an owl with an unusually expressive face. She was much larger than an owl should be, larger than anyone Cade had seen. Atop her head were white vines that descended like dreads. Simply through the handshake Cade learned the entity’s name. The Owl Mother.

“Come, my child. You have much to learn.”